Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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