Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
