Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
