Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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