doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
