Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
