No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
