I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
