I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Drunk is not a location!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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