Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
