Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
