We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
