well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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