How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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