wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
