Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
