Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
