Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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