did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
