I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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