I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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