Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
