I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
