The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize