you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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