During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
