Slut skills are useful in every country.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
