Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
