your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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