Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
