I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
A bitchslap is in order.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
