I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
