Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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