her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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