I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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