what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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