so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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