Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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