I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
