just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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