I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
