I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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