Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
