My brain says no but my pants say off.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
