your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
