she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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