I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
