nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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