Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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