Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize