it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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