Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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