New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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