I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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