dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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