forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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