Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
