Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
